Hello loves! How are we all keeping during this summer?
I feel so excited to have a blog to share! It’s been a while honestly and you know what, there’s always the right time for everything.
Recently I was hit with the Paris potion. That’s what I am calling it because I fell in love guys… with the city, the food and the people. My first trip to Paris was many years ago,I was visiting for the Afropunk festival and although the festival was good I just felt like Paris had bad vibes. Granted I was young and didn’t do much exploring, this time was so different for many reasons.
A lot happened on this trip, amazing food and views which I will share in future posts but firstly I’d like to dedicate this post to an aspect of lost and found love in my life.
Firstly it was an intimate time for me to ignite a love that felt a little lost between a long time friend and I. I am learning a lot about love and relationships lately, the ebb and flow of passion, excitement, how we all experience various levels of intensity when we endure long standing relationships in our lives. This trip reminded me of the love that I have in my life and how love is never lost, sometimes recycled or shows up differently.
Paris gave me a chance to see the city through different eyes the same way I was able to see this relationship and I thank God for the experience and heart to see things differently. You know, when people would call Paris the city of love, I’d be like “ew” but love as I am learning isn’t always about romance in the sense of who you’re sleeping with but can also be found and rekindled in the places you felt you might’ve lost it.
It took personal maturation for me to welcome Paris with open arms and new eyes in the same way I was able to in the friendship I was able to rekindle. Now don’t get me wrong, the love and intrigue was there but I find attachment to the past can sometimes cloud our vision of what’s present. The same way a not so great experience would've stopped me from enjoying what Paris has to offer.
I wasn’t excited about the idea of visiting Paris again but I knew that I needed to see a friend.Paris is around the corner, no point going again or at least I thought. It's crazy how we can see places, people and things as disposable and I'm learning that this is far from the loving life I want to live.
Close proximity or lack thereof with people we deem ‘close’ to can have us thinking a little distance means it's time to let go and as humans, creatures of habit, questioning whether the love is still there and unless we make the conscious decision and effort to show up for our loved ones, not seeing someone every day or texting 24/7 can give a false sense that love is lost.
I think it’s easier to let friendships fade because it takes true vulnerability to let someone know you miss them or that you've grown/changed and need them to see you in a new light, while not forgetting the past in order for the relationship to progress. This trip showed me that in a lot of ways, letting go is the easier way out.
We might think that we’re no longer aligned because we don’t talk about the same things, have made new friends or move far away but life's journey is the string that should pull us closer. There’s something to be valued in the friendships that have seen our evolution over the years and I will always make room and space for those who have seen the different aspects of Dominique through the years.
This isn't to be mistaken for some connections that have just had their time or deserve to be let go of, however when there's an inkling of someone still reaching out or trying to make an effort, I think it's so worth a try.
It’s scary to think we don’t connect over the same things anymore but isn’t that the beauty of life? To grow, to develop? It takes effort yes and maybe it’s not about connecting over the past but creating a new future.
This trip was eye opening for me. I needed it. I needed to know I still had my friend and there she was, in a new light and I fell in love with her more for it.
Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn has a chapter on this that makes me feel so understood. She says that “For all of us, there will be times when distance drifts into a friendship and it might seem easier to withdraw.. To accept the gaps in our knowledge of each other creeping in and then continue to make an effort anyway: to find that it’s still there, love, shining between us, despite everything.”
That’s what this trip to Paris gave me and for that, I have a new found love for the city. Coincidentally, the time with my girlie and the time back in Paris seemed so synchronized.
Now I know we don’t all have the luxury of a trip to rekindle relationships but it doesn’t have to be so extravagant, reaching out to someone you love, letting them know you’re thinking of them, that you miss them. Ask them out for a cup of tea or send some flowers, whatever expressing love looks like to you and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with it.
Life is so short guys, tomorrow isn’t promised. Do the harder thing today and reach out, you’ll love more for it.
And to Natalia, one of my longest friends, I love you so much and I'm so excited for our growth. You truly mean the world to me x
I hope this message touches someone the way it did me and I am so excited to share some lovely spots with you guys!
All the love,
Namaste x