So This Is Love... What Is Love To You?

I’ve been reading a lot about love lately. I’m curious to know what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I ask “What is love to you?". Feel free to respond to this in the comments or via email. I am genuinely intrigued and asking for research purposes x.

I recently took a somewhat spontaneous trip to Bath Spa with my best friend. This trip for me was one of the strongest actions of love I’ve experienced in a while, not for one reason or because of who I went with, but the acts leading towards and during the trip.

Why Bath?

Well, I was feeling overwhelmed with the new role I’ve just started (will talk about this more in another post) and a lot of things just felt out of balance and I knew I needed a break. I was talking to my best friend about this and she recommend Bath Spa and was also in on needing a break so we thought… why the hell not? After confirming annual leave, looking at dates, before we knew it, our Airbnb was booked. This was the first step in what felt like love for me. Now I know she’s my best friend but I only recall venting to my girl about how stressed I feel and not knowing where to go but knowing that I needed to go. Her proactiveness and involvement really motivated me to doing something for me. Usually, I know I’d need a break but would put it off til the end of burnout, having someone willing to go the journey with me gave me more motivation to pour into myself and I can’t quite put my finger on how but it just felt like love.

I took a pause after writing the above and now I know why it felt like love, sometimes love is having someone go the road with you. As someone who deals with hyper-independence, I am used to doing things alone and although I usually find the motivation myself, sometimes I realise I delay things when it comes to treating myself, perhaps because I don’t see it as important or because I don’t feel its deserved yet or perhaps I want to do it with someone. It’s a mindset I am working on changing but I am so grateful for the fact that there is love in and around me enough to get the ball rolling. In this moment I just needed a “Yes, let’s do it” and it was there.

PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), PMS on steroids, was creeping in the week we decided to visit Bath and honestly.. I didn’t feel like going. Not because I didn’t know I would have a great time but sometimes the imbalance of hormones, fatigue and lack of motivation can put me off just getting out the house. Simply receiving a “Don’t forget your swimsuit!“ from my girl, added a little pep in my step that again, felt like love.

I know these might seem like the tiniest things but its truly the little things that feel like love to me lol. It’s the little things that keep me going. It’s the way my friends do the little things that feel like love to me.

We got there and had the most amazing time, Bath looks like a mini Roman Empire, we ate, we laughed, we walked, we swam, we existed. We even managed to do a mini food shoot after a beautiful day at the spa and in the midst of seeing my girl on ‘set’ (the mini set we created using faux ring lights, a suitcase as a step and phones as professional cameras) it all felt like love. It felt like a real food shoot and I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful moment.

I know that sometimes, when people think of love, it comes in the form the romantic sense, with a partner, and although I know just how beautiful that love is and can’t wait to experience it one day, I don’t think we give enough credit and attention to the other kinds of love that are available to us. I am learning, that love is in the little things. In a text from your girlfriends asking if you’re okay, in walking down the street and seeing Autumns change in trees, in making yourself something nice to eat, in following the urge to book a staycation away for a couple of days and having your best friend with you to enjoy the trip.

When I think of the ways that I have experienced love in my life, its been nothing like what I have seen in books, or heard from friends and admittedly, during a long and low period of my life, I didn’t think that I was capable of giving or receiving love. Admittedly I generally referred to love in the romantic sense but I realise it was in friendships too. However when I look back on how love for myself and the world has evolved, I realise that I always have and had love around me, even if I couldn’t see it physically.

The love between myself and God is something I can not put into words, it brings tears to my eyes to know and feel the kind of relationship I have developed with God (spirit, the universe, angels, Allah, whichever you like to call it). Even when I have been through the harshest of lessons, God has always been there to give me love and love me through it. It didn't always feel this way and now it always does. When I say I know God loves me, its through many things like the beautiful friendships I have today, the way things just pan out perfectly for me, the aha moments, the insight, the personal growth, the way I can laugh at situations that once made me cry.

I know I have taken a slight tangent here but I truly see God when I look at my friends, because only God could have brought such beautiful, genuine, support, kind and loving people into my life. My best friend Natalia (who I went on the trip to Bath with) is an angel in disguise as far as I am concerned. She has seen me through the lowest of lows and I know she’ll be with me through the highest of highs. The love I’ve been able to express to her and to other friends is through the love she has given me and I’ll always be grateful to her (I love you girl!)

There was a beautiful book store in Bath that we spent hours in at the end of our trip and guess which book I picked out? “Conversations on Love” by Natasha Lunn. It’s such a beautiful book and if I remember correctly, my girl picked it up too. Also got a nod of a approval by another customer in the store who said “that book is amazing”. I am currently engulfed in this book and it couldn’t have come at a better time. It gives such beautiful perspectives on the different kinds of love and the ways to deepen your relationships and I highly recommend so far!

Today, love for me is, changing the sheets, writing this newsletter while sipping a cup of tea delicious vanilla black tea that my friend got me from holiday (I love you Prinny!) and thoughtfully anticipated the delicious prawns and chimmichurri that I am going to enjoy for dinner. As you can see, its truly the little things.

If you’re reading this and don’t feel you have this kind of love around you (which you are deserving of) then give yourself a little love today. Say I love you, to you. Eat something nice, watch something comforting and try to give thanks for the love that’s around you that you probably aren’t quite perceiving yet. I promise its there.

Thank you for reading, I love you

Namaste x